Firstly, I am riddled with an extreme amount of stress right now that I do not wish to discuss via blogger. Let it be known that it is stressful stress of the most extreme and frankly, I don't have much to say in the way of my blog because my stress happens to be the only think on my mind at the moment.
What I will share is the fact that I went in to see Dr. Setla and had the best labs on the planet. Unfortunately, going to see her was the wrong thing to do and I was told that I will have to see her again anyway, so my efforts were in vain. Also, I missed a phantom appointment in April and now have to see my dietitian when I can instead of having had seen her when I should have and therefore I am screwed on my surgery date being within the year. Big yip. Another thing to worry excessively about.
Thirdly, I am not going to pretend that I am never going to eat another French fry, hamburger or piece of chocolate cake for as long as I live. This is unrealistic. The point of the Learn program is to teach you how to make responsible choices. There is nowhere in that book that says chocolate will never pass over your lips again. My husband is not a big supporter in terms of eating well with me. He chews tobacco, drinks 6 liters of mountain dew a day and eats at Culvers. For your information, I had 4 pieces of shrimp, a couple of fries and did not eat any of the sides. The rest went to my dog. In the old days I would have eaten all of my meal, plus whatever was left from the kids. BACK OFF. I am doing wonderfully and am very proud of the fact that I am not eating like I was and have not eaten like I was for 2 months now. To assume that I can never go into a Culvers with my husband on occasion because of my surgery is narrow. Not to mention the fact that I am able to do this with all the shit hanging over my head makes it clear that I will be fine after my surgery and the fact that I am going to my classes every Wednesday night, no matter how depressed, sad or upset I am, tells me that I am committed and will be successful. That being said, I don't feel like typing about anything fun or wonderful because I am dealing with a whole pile of stuff right now and I am embarrassed enough that there is no way in hell I am putting it up on a public forum for the world to see what a big fat screw up I am. There. I posted. Happy?
Maybe if I get this Labor day weekend out of the way I can have more time to update my blogs. I need to paint.
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Oh Jess, I am sorry that your having a tough time. And I am sorry that you think a comment mad is some how putting you down. Maybe later on when your not so stressed you will see that is not what the intention was at all. I hope your better soon.
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